Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
