I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize