he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
