Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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