dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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