Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
