I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
