the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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