sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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