If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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