I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
