they need to just BURY HIM!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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