OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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