I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
