dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
