You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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