I puked a lego.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize