I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
