she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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