My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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