apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
