idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
