im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
