You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
