i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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