thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
