You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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