i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
