so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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