It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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