In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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