if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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