i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
