this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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