I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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