Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
