The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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