Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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