he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
