Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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