i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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