she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
