i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
