I think my vagina is haunted
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
