Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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