im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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