Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
babies were throwing up all over the place
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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