you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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