She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
