11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Still dying that you shit outside
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
