I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I look better un-naked...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize