i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
