I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
