Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
