You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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