Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
