if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sry I called you an 8
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
