two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
