I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
