I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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