He kissed a someone with a penis
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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