bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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