did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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