Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this boner is exhausting
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
