**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
