Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
