Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
